I’m Over Love

I’m over love…

Due to the overwhelming emotions from the disappointment from love.

Abused by love.

Merely existing but not necessarily living,

Overpowered by the corruptness of love.

With that said…

Yet still secretly desiring love,

Because I’m empty from the absence of love.

Lost.

In the wilderness from taking wrong paths with love.

Gas tank on E from searching for love.

But…

The little girl in me still wanting to believe in the possibility of love.

Infallible, impenetrable, Cinderella type love.

Real love.

Mirroring,

Magical beauty and the beast love.

Simplistic,

Altruistic,

Disney never-ending happily ever-after princess love.

But that love is out of my reach you see…

It seems I thirst for the worst aspects of me,

I cling to the very things and sing praises to those,

Who only seem to lie to me.

Mistreat me.

A demon whose sole mission is to take advantage of me.

A prisoner of my side-tracked mind,

Due to the ironic manipulations of an affectionate fallen King.

A magician who performs tricks on me.

An omnipotent selfish villain,

Who falsely claims to love me.

A swindler who uses a sweet smile and mastery of words,

To deceive me.

Believe me.

Escaping this toxic smokescreen of love is not easy.

Living with a man who tells me…

(So easily)

Yes, I slept with her…

But trust me…

You’re my Queen T…

If only you would give me,

What I need see.

Apologizing but never changing.

Temporarily bandaging scars you’re creating,

But never actually reciprocating,

The standard behaviors,

That makes love so amazing.

Instead,

Leaving me eviscerated.

Keeping my eyes fixed on the promise of the altar,

And not the reality of the relationship.

Knowing I need to love Self,

Build a ritual to improve my health,

Meditating to renew my mental and spiritual wealth,

Finding a way to heal and center Self.

Instead,

I continue to hinder Self,

By surrendering Self,

To the confusion developing from mental diffusion,

That leaves myself a mere fraction,

No fragment,

Of my original Self.

Help.